Today's episode is titled The Cost of Leadership. It's going to discuss the less talked about prices you have to pay when you earn leadership. Let's get started. The most common cost of leadership that everyone probably thinks of is time. We know that when you're in leadership, it's going to cost you time.
And, and I'm not really going to delve into that because it's common sense and it's, it's heavily, the next thing that people probably think of commonly is money. Leadership, leadership does cost money. If you think you're going to make money while you're in the wrong business, you will, you can, in some denominations and some works, but you're in it for the wrong reasons, and I'm speaking as a Pentecostal in the United Pentecostal church, and I'm speaking.
It takes a while for you to make money, and it's going to cost you money. Especially if you start a work, you are going to spend more money than you will ever make. So, it's going to cost you money. You have to invest. And if you're not willing to do that, then you probably don't need to be a leader anyway.
If you look at things and think about how much it's going to cost you financially, your heart's probably not in it. Um, because a lot of times it, it becomes second nature. It's just, you don't even think about it. You're like, well, this, this makes sense. This is what it has to be done. And it's just is, you don't even think about that.
So that's all I'm going to say about money because that's not where I'm going to go today. Most people know that leadership will cost you your personal goals. We don't like to talk about it, but it will. If you aspire to be the CEO of your company, I do know one pastor right now of a Pentecostal church, and he is CEO of his company, he's making it work, but that's not common.
And I'm not saying you can't do it, but what I'm saying is sometimes, sometimes God may have you lead your goals. We talked about that in a previous episode, we had a, there was a missionary, Sister Benson, she wanted to be a nurse and she had to resign from nursing school because she was called to be a missionary.
You know, sometimes you have to leave your personal goals. And we talked about that already. And that gets taught, that gets preached a lot, you know, you have to be, so I'm not going to go there either. No. You know what doesn't get taught a lot, at least not in my circles, is the cost that leadership has on your relationships with people.
You, you get taught how to be friends with people, you know, and the importance of winning people, but no one tells you the cost it has on your relationships with people. We tell you that you cannot please people in God, and that's true, that's biblical. Let me read you a scripture. In Galatians, we tell you that, but we, at the same time, we don't tell you the full effect of it.
Here's that scripture in 10. I'm going to read you two different, uh, translations. The first is King James, Paul says, for, do I now persuade men or God, or do I seek to please men for if I yet please men, I should not be the servant of Christ, and I liked the new living translation, by the way, if you're looking for a different translations, you know, for different reasons, I really liked the way the new living translations reword some things.
Here's what, here's the way it rewords it. It says, Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal? I would not be Christ's servant. You can't, if you're trying to win people, then you cannot be a servant of Christ. There is a popular person right now. He is renowned.
He's makes millions of dollars doing what he does. And he has a test, the title of pastor. And I wish he would drop that title. He doesn't preach against sin. He doesn't guide people. He doesn't protect people. All he does is motivate people. And if he would just change his title to Motivator, I wouldn't have a single problem with him.
Because he is a people pleaser, but he is not a servant of Christ. Or at least he's not a pastor. Anyway, you don't have to be a football fan to at least have heard the name Kirby Smart lately. He is the head coach of the Georgia Bulldogs. And they have been quite successful since he's taken over. They've won a couple of national titles.
And he put out a quote recently. I don't know, actually I don't know when he made the quote, but recently I read it. And he mentions the cost to leaders and he lists three things. He says, one, they make hard decisions that sometimes negatively affect the people they care about. Number two, they will be disliked despite their best attempts to do the best for the most.
Number three, they will be misunderstood and won't always have the opportunity to defend themselves. I saw that and I said, man, that is so true. And I want to talk about those three points. Number one, read it again. They make hard decisions. Stop right there. Hard decisions. Leadership is hard enough. People looking to you, people expecting you to guide them and expecting you to have all the answers, not understanding that you're just as human as they are, that you have the same faults and failures and fallacies that they do, but they're expecting more from you and then you have to make decisions that matter, decisions that will affect the lives, decisions that We'll have an impact.
You have to make these decisions and it's not always fun decisions. It's hard Decisions and you know, obviously you understand those that have been here longer. You don't make those by yourself You make them with much prayer and fasting you make them with the guidance and counsel of those who have done it But longer than you you you seek advice and prayer and fasting and prayer I don't know what the Holy Ghost tells you but these are hard decisions and at the same time just because it's the right decision does not mean everyone is going to come out rosy on top.
It will sometimes negatively affect some people. It depends on their situation. Just because it negatively affects someone does not mean it's a wrong decision. You have to make that hard decision that will sometimes negatively affect the people that you care about because it's what's best for them. And that's hard, but that is a cost to leadership.
Number two. You will be disliked despite your best intentions. And you have to accept that. And you cannot blame them for that. I love the, I saw another quote and I'm gonna, I'm not even gonna bother getting it right. But the point was you don't get to dictate other people's narrative. Thank you. You don't get to decide how they feel about you.
They are allowed to think of you how they want to think of you. You don't get to tell them that they have to like you. You don't get to tell them that you're a hard worker. You don't get to tell them that you are, have their best interests at heart. That's their prerogative to think of you how they will.
You will be disliked by people regardless of your intentions. So you need to consider that when you're making these decisions. Otherwise you'll be swayed on your decisions, trying to please people that cannot be pleased. You go ahead and make that right decision because it's right, not based on reactions and how it will make people feel.
Feelings are temporary. Right is permanent. By right, I'm talking about the eternal right and not cultural's idea of right and wrong because culture changes. I'm talking about God's right. You will be disliked. I remember telling my children each individually as they were growing into adolescence. You don't have to.
agree with me. You don't have to understand me. I'm just asking you to trust me. Even if it sounds stupid, even if you disagree, just know that my intention is to do the best I can. And because of the relationship that I had with my children, I was able to get that trust. They were frustrated with some things and to this day they may still disagree with me, but I had that trust.
They knew that dad wasn't. I'm not saying this just for giggles, okay? I wasn't saying this just for the sake of robbing them of a joy or robbing them of a pleasure that I, that I had a good intention. But that was because I had built a relationship with my children. That's because I had an opportunity to explain to them that intention.
But in the, in the leadership role with multitude of people, you may not always have that luxury to explain that your ground to people, or they may just not trust you at all. Anyway, they may actually feel that. You're out to get them. They may have their own anxiety, their own paranoia. They may have their own demons telling them the opposite.
So you still have to make your right decision. Number three, again, they will, you will be misunderstood and won't always have the opportunity to defend yourselves. That's kind of piggyback on what I just said. You will not always have the opportunity to defend. You won't always have the opportunity to explain.
Your side of the story. And I don't think you should. The more I understand people, the more I understand our society, I don't know if that does any good. My wife loves to say talk. You should talk. Tell them. And well, communication has a vital role. Communication is not always the answer. Okay? Sometimes it makes matters worse because some people like the drama.
Sometimes communication is adding fuel to that fire. It depends on the situation. The, the other side of the, of the problem. So in, in my short time as pastor, there's been things come up that I did not address. I found out someone would approach me or, you know, tell me what they heard and I would address it with that person that came to me, but I didn't go back to the source.
It wouldn't have done any good if that person approached me fine, but no, I'm not adding fuel to that fire. They were not in a place where it would have done any good. Like I was being baited and I'm not taking that bait. And that wasn't just, that's just over the years, you know, youth ministry, prison ministry, Florida, it's just, that's happened all over the place.
That's a common thing at work. I can just think of a million times that's happened. People will try to bait you into a losing conversation. You will not always have the opportunity to defend yourself. You need to understand that as a leadership or not just in leadership, but in life, In general, but since we're talking about leadership, not everyone is your friend.
And by friend, I don't mean that they're necessarily out to get you, but they may not be out to help you. Okay. They may just be, Bible says we're laborers together. But not everyone understands that. Just because they're on the same side of the fence as you, does not mean they have the same burden and vision as you, and the same goal.
So you need to understand that not everyone's your friend. And that's okay. It is okay to have acquaintances. It's okay to identify that someone is Just an acquaintance. And I'm not telling you to be paranoid. What I'm telling you is don't get your feelings hurt. If someone does not reciprocate the level of friendship that you thought you had.
I've struggled with that because to me, everyone's my friend. I can't tell you how many other ministers that I've had a good conversation with that I deemed them friend. And it turns out, no, we weren't friends. They were just being friendly. And I got my feelings hurt. Thank you. Well, I was the one that misread it.
It's not their fault. You know, that's just me and my messed up brain. It's, you need to learn to not get your feelings hurt every time someone is just an acquaintance, especially in leadership, because some people don't know how to handle friends with leaderships anyway. Be careful of your impressions that you make and receive as a leader.
When you make an impression as a leader, people say first impressions are a lasting impression, and that's true, but some people wait for a second And boy, that first impression is so important. And believe it or not, I'm talking to the introverts here. That's a choice. That really is. And I know there's some psychology there and some people need there before, but I used to be an introvert.
I remember in eighth grade making a conscience effort, a decision that I will not be shy anymore. My dad says, Oh, you were never shy. I was. extremely shy. I wasn't shy at home but at school I was very shy. They would make fun of me and I remember saying no not anymore and making a choice. So if you make that, and I'm saying that in this context here, because that first impression, you can make a choice on making a good and first impression.
You don't have to let your shyness ruin your first impression. You don't have to say, well, I'm socially awkward. You can choose to work on it and make a good first impression. I will warn you that it does go both ways. Be careful about judging someone because of their bad first impression. Maybe they are just as nervous as you are.
Maybe they are just as socially awkward as you are and they meant to do better. Don't think that you're the only one who deserves a second chance. So be careful. As a leader, you cannot be afraid of hurting feelings. My wife is terrified of hurting feelings. Everything. Boy, she, and I'm, this podcast, I probably mentioned her more than.
Today than I have before it's just and I may have to edit that back out. I don't know We'll see and there is something to be said about her your feelings because brother offended is harder won than a well thought city That's that's scripture and I'm not telling you to go in there brutal But you cannot be afraid to do what's right and say what's right because someone won't like it You're a leader and you have to lead can't be afraid of failing.
I mentioned those hard decisions You It can, it can be paralyzing sometimes, the weight of it, but you cannot be afraid of failing. Go ahead and make that decision. And, and if it's the wrong decision, God will help you work it out. You are human. You're not responsible for the results anyway. He is. I saw a quote and I shared it on my Facebook page.
You're not responsible for the soil, you're only responsible for the toil. Yeah, I like that. You're not, you know, don't worry about the ground, just worry about the work. And that's true, you know, we plant in water and he provides the increase. So, just keep working. If you get it wrong, he'll, he'll fix. Or, depends on why you got it wrong, I guess.
If you got it wrong out of disobedience, if you got it wrong out of Laziness. You know, that'd be another podcast, but if you got it wrong out of good intentions, you just made a bad decision. God will help you. Speaking of being afraid, you know, I was talking about, cannot be afraid of hurt feelings, cannot be afraid of failing as a leader, are you allowed to be afraid at all?
I talk about fear a lot. COVID came through, and boy, it really showed our, our yellow nature, didn't it? Revelation 21, seven through eight says, He that overcometh shall inherit all things, and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. It says, but the fearful, they started off with that, but the fearful and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, And idolaters and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.
Boy, I can hammer that pretty good. With, before he mentioned murderers and the abominable and the whoremongers and sorcerers, he mentioned the fear. But you need to understand what that means. It doesn't mean you can't have fear. That word fearful can be translated as cowards. Now that's a different word.
You can have fear, you just can't let fear control you. Those that stop because of fear belong in the category with your murderers, your sorcerers, and your whoremongers. But those who continue to do what they're supposed to do even though they're afraid? That is who God is looking for. So yes, as a leader, you can be afraid.
You just can't use fear as an excuse. God has no time for cowards, nor do I. I wouldn't, I preach that to my kids. I can't stand a coward. I tell that to my church. Can't stand a coward. God asks you to do something. The last thing he wants to hear is you're afraid. I'll, in closing, I want to tell you that leadership is going to cost you.
It will cost you. And if you've been in leadership for a while and it hasn't cost you anything yet, And you're probably doing it wrong. Even the best of leaders lose something, whether it's a friend, it's a family member, whether it's a job money, it's going to cost you something and that's okay because what as a man, what if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul.
Amen. Thank you for listening to the podcast. I appreciate everyone that has helped spread the word. I appreciate everyone that has clicked like and subscribe. Stick with me and help us encourage one another. Love you.
