The Balance of Compassion and Wisdom

In today’s episode, the host discusses a key challenge in ministry: knowing when to help others and when to let them face the consequences of their actions. This lesson is inspired by Pastor Jay Jones from Kentwood, Michigan. The host highlights the delicate balance between compassion and wisdom, drawing from biblical teachings and personal ministry experiences.

### Key Points:
1. **Discerning When to Help**: One of the hardest decisions in ministry is knowing when to help someone and when to let them learn from their mistakes. Offering compassion at the wrong time can sometimes hinder their spiritual growth. 

2. **Sowing and Reaping (Galatians 6:7)**: Scripture reminds us that people will always reap what they sow. Intervening too quickly may prevent them from experiencing the lessons God is teaching through consequences.

3. **The Role of Consequences**: Allowing someone to face the results of their choices is often part of God’s plan for their growth. Constantly rescuing people can keep them stuck in a cycle of poor decisions.

4. **Compassion vs. Codependency**: Ministers must avoid developing a "Messiah complex," where they feel responsible for fixing everyone’s problems. This can create a dependency on the minister rather than fostering reliance on God.

5. **Balancing Love and Discipline**: Discipline, as seen in Hebrews 12:6, is a form of love. Just as God disciplines His children, sometimes tough love in ministry is necessary for true transformation.

6. **Biblical Examples**:
   - **Prodigal Son**: The father allowed his son to face consequences, which led to repentance.
   - **Jesus and the Adulterous Woman**: Jesus showed mercy but also commanded, "Go and sin no more," combining compassion with an expectation for change.

7. **Principles for Discernment**:
   - Understand the role of consequences.
   - Focus on long-term restoration rather than short-term relief.
   - Assess the heart condition—are they truly seeking change?
   - Seek counsel and mentorship from more experienced leaders.
   - Set healthy boundaries to prevent burnout and ensure spiritual growth.

8. **The Reality of Ministry**: People may not always show gratitude for the effort put into their restoration, but ministers must remember they are working for God, not for human recognition (Colossians 3:23).

### Reflection:
The episode emphasizes that wisdom in ministry involves stepping back when necessary, trusting God’s plan, and allowing individuals to grow through their hardships. Tough love, though often uncomfortable, is sometimes the most loving thing one can offer.

### SEO Keywords: ministry discernment, Galatians 6:7, consequences in spiritual growth, tough love in ministry, balancing compassion and wisdom, biblical discipline, long-term restoration.

Transcript

 Today's episode is titled the balance of compassion in wisdom.  We're going to talk about when to help. And when to not help.  Let's get started. First want to give credit where credit is due.  

The.  Source for this lesson comes from pastor Jay Jones. He's been on the podcast before he pastors in Kentwood, Michigan.  This was something that he had put out on Facebook. He just put out a little blurb and I'm expounding on it, but I saved it. And. I've had it for. Months and months and tuned on it. But anyway, he was the original author of the thought and I want to give him credit.  

One of the greatest challenges in ministry is discerning when to help someone. And when to step back to allow them to face the consequences of their actions.  As ministers we're naturally inclined to extend compassion and relief, but there are times. When wisdom calls us to hold back.  And we need to trust. That God actually has everything in his plan. 

And he's working through the difficulties that they face.  Knowing how to strike this balance is key to leading others through true spiritual growth and restoration.  Because if we miss up.  And interfere when we don't need to, we can stunt their growth.  

We need to remember that there are no quick fixes in the process of restoration.  

People often want.  Relief from their problems, but true restoration requires more than just temporary help.  It involves taking responsibility for one's action. And changing the behavior that produced the negative outcomes into first place.  

Here's the scripture that Jay Jones used that.  Inspired everything. Galatians six and seven.  Do not be deceived.  God will, can not be mocked. A man reaps. What he sows.  That's the Navi.  But.  I never realized that those went together. I knew that God won't be mocked. And I knew that a man reaps, what he sows.  But that's in the same verse. 

That's in the same context. Of the conversation. Here's the new living translations. Don't be misled. You cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.  

Yeah. See, I never put that together.  Always thought when you're mocking God, your. Mocking them in a different way. And you read what you saw. That makes sense, but no, Bye. Bye. Skirting that justice by trying to get around God's justice. You're mocking him. You're mocking his plan.  Both that's serious stuff now. 

Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone is to allow them to reap what they sow, allow them to reap the results of the seeds that they have. Some.  Continuously bailing someone out.  Coddling them in there. Conflicts or removing the consequences of their mistakes.  It's going to keep them trapped in a cycle of poor decisions.  As ministers, we need to pray. 

Lord, help me stay out of your way by not continually rescuing people from their consequences.  We need to remember that there. There's only one Messiah. And it's not us.  We don't save people. Jesus does. Our role is to guide people through the restoration. Not to prevent it by eliminating their necessary struggles.  We must avoid rescuing them from their consequences.  At all costs. And.  



We can't just rescue him because we're uncomfortable seeing him suffer. 

Now that's a big deal. We don't, we love them and we don't like to see them. Hurt. That's why we get involved with. That's more selfish than anything.  We need to remember the debt suffering is what can lead to their transformation. I  think of it this way. Some parents avoid disciplining their children for the same reason. They don't like to hear their kid cry. 

So they won't. Punish them.  That's not loving your kid. That's loving yourself.  In the same way. Ministers may not. They may step into quickly to help someone because they don't like to witness their suffering.  Even if it's a result of their own actions.  

But just as discipline is essential for a child's growth, the consequences of sin and poor choices are often the very tools that God uses to bring someone to repentance in spiritual maturity.  

It was the whale that got Jonah's attention.  

It wasn't somebody looking out for them.  

It was the consequences of his decision.  Hebrews 12 and six says for the Lord disciplines, the ones he loves. In chastises, every son whom he receives.  

We need to remember that. Discipline is love.  Loving discipline is a reflection of God's care for us. When we allow others to face the consequences of their choices.  Then we mirror that kind of discipline that God uses for our own growth and development.  Tough love is not a lack of love.  I know that some people may.  Misinterprets stepping back and showing tough love as a lack of compassion, but in reality, Stepping back and letting them go through the process. 

It is an expression of true love.  Real love prioritizes long-term transformation over short term. Comfort.  

In some cases, intervening can stunt a persons. Spiritual progress. How far would they have been? If we hadn't kept.  Collin in enabling them.  In ministry, we've got to recognize it, enabling someone by constantly intervening it. It's going to do more harm than good Proverbs 19 and 19 says a hot tempered person must pay the penalty. The rescue them and you'll have to do it again.  

If we rescue people from every consequence, we risk creating a dependency on us instead of fostering the reliance on God, in their own growth. They may never learn responsibility if we keep. Intervening and constantly remove the spirit, the natural outcome of their actions.  

Let's look at Jesus for an example. Jesus showed incredible compassion, but he never shied away from allowing people to face the truth about their actions. The woman caught in adultery.  He said he showed her mercy by saying neither do I condemn me. But what did he say next? Go and sin no more. He combined compassion with the expectation of change.  If he went back to her. Old lifestyle. It would have completely undone what Jesus just did for her in front of everybody.  

Take the story of the prodigal son.  The father did not go running after the son. He let him.  Leave. He let him make his poor choices.  And then he let them face the painful consequences of those choices. And it was that painful consequence that got his attention.  And send him back home.  Here. Done this cause he didn't go get him.  

It was tough love, but it was to love. His love was always present.  When the sun returned and repentance. The father embraced him.  This teaches us that sometimes love requires stepping back. Allowing someone to experience hardship.  But always be ready to welcome them. When they're ready to change.  

That brings up the. Next logical. Topic of discerning when to help and when to step back. W cause there are times when you need to help and there are times when you don't need to help. So how do we figure this out?  James one to five encouraged. This is, if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault. 

And it will be given to you.  Minister's need to seek God's guidance in every situation, understanding that there is no blanket rule. Okay. It's a case by case situation.  Just because God told you the.  Treat one situation this way does not mean it's going to be that way every time.  The holy ghost will lead us and knowing when to offer help and when to allow someone to go through their own experience.  

Brother, Mike. How do I know how to listen to the holy ghost? Welcome to the ministry. That's not even ministry. Welcome to apostolic living. You're going to have to learn to get comfortable with your holy ghost.  Remove.  Distractions remove anything that is talking to you louder than the holy ghost is.  And pay attention. Develop a relationship with God. Where you get comfortable hearing what he's saying.  



But here are some principles that can help you guide this discernment. 

Okay.  And these are in no particular order, but  understand the role of consequences. We've talked about that. Okay. By stepping back, we allow people to learn the lessons that God's trying to teach them.  Focus on longterm restoration.  People don't. I just need relief from their pain. They need restoration.  And restoration is not just about picking someone up from their failure. It's about helping them learn how to walk again.  

Short term help may bring temporary relief. But wisdom looks for longterm growth and transformation.  Number three assessed the heart condition.  Are they repenting? Are they genuinely seeking change?  Or are they continue continuing in a cycle of poor choices?  As a former jail and prison minister, I can tell you, sometimes people are only sorry. They got caught.  And they all, they're only sorry. About the consequences. They're not sorry for their lifestyle.  When I teach. New converts about repentance. I'll tell them.  You don't tell God, you're sorry. You stole.  You have to be, sorry. 

You're a thief.  Two different things.  So you need to check your heart. Make sure the heart. is ready cause helping them too soon.  You're going to interfere with what God's trying to do.  Seek counsel and mentorship. Find someone older, more experienced and wiser and listen to them. To  run it by them because they've been there. You're not the first person to deal with it. 

I promise you.  The your mentor can provide insight and perspective and they can help you discern when to act and when to wait.  It's very important in all this to set healthy boundaries.  Constantly rescuing people from their struggles can not only hurt them, but it can hurt you. It can lead to burnout.  Even Jesus took time to withdraw from the crowds to rest and pray.  We need to learn that stepping back is not a lack of love. But re, but one of the most loving things we can do. Both for the person.  And for us.  We need to avoid falling into the Messiah complex feeling that it's our responsibility to fix everyone's problems.  Our job is to point people to Jesus. Who is the true restore? It's his power to change hearts and lives. Not ours.  Lastly, one of the harsh realities of ministry. Is that the people we help may never show awareness or gratitude. For the emotional and spiritual burden, we carry on their behalf.  We can pour ourselves into someone's restoration process. Only to be met with indifference or maybe even resentment when they are held accountable.  This lack of recognition, it can be heartbreaking. But it's important to remember that our labor is ultimately for the Lord and not for human approval.  Colossians 3 23 reminds us whatever you do. I work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters.  So you're going to have to do what's right.  Regardless of how they treat you.  Regardless of what you're going to have to go through because of it.  We are called to serve faithfully.  Regardless of whether we receive things for acknowledgement.  A warm and fuzzy.  Or coach odor cuss words, whatever.  We need to remember that God sees every effort, every sleepless night and every prayer. Even when the people we helped do not.  It's also helpful to remember that gratitude often comes much later. Sometimes after the person is truly grown and matured. The seed you plant today may not. very visible fruit for years, but your faithfulness will eventually produce a harvest.  In closing.  Let me  summarize everything to balance between compassion and wisdom. It's going to be one of your more challenging aspects of ministry. But it's also one of the most important.  We're called to guide. We're called to love and we're called to lead people towards restoration.  But we must also know when to step back. And let God work through the consequences of their action.  It's equally important to realize that those we help may never appreciate our efforts, but we labor for God and not for human applause.  That is the lesson on the balance between compassion in wisdom. I hope it helps. I've already got my next cup. I have three. A podcast already recorded with guests. I'm really excited.  I wish. I make up my own rules. I could go in and put them out there, but I'm going to try to stick to the.  Regimen here.  But I can't wait to get them out.  I'm excited about it and I hope you're enjoying the podcast. Thank you for being a part of it. Love you.